Discouraged

I have made no significant progress in my weight or my measurements in the entire month of May.   A couple times they started to dip but everything is back up to where it was. 

It's shocking to me how the discouragement, the disappointment seems to wrack my whole body and lower the vibration of how I feel.  It's all in my head right?  If the measurements had been better this morning I would be all excited and happy instead.  Now I feel like skipping my bike ride, going back to bed, cleaning house or reading a book or something.  I don't have John here like usual, so I have go ride my bike by myself, and I feel like it doesn't make any difference anyway.  I'll probably just die of heart deisease and diabetes like my Grandmother with this persistent apple shaped body that she blessed me with. 

At least I know I'm getting stronger.  And I have to admit to eating more than I should lately with John making such yummy gluten free waffles and allowing myself to eat little bits of this and that with sugar.  Maybe I just need to take the calorie restriction thing more seriously.  I should force myself back onto the Cinderella diet.  I haven't been getting all my veggies in when "safe" carbs are on hand that are tasty and quick.  And I've been having like 2 - 3 smoothies a day with loads of fruit in them.  Once I get to a healthy weight and waist measurement I can have fun eating like I have been but I need to buckle down now and restrict, restrict, restrict the calories.  At least my husband and family are eating well again.  I'm sure they're happy. 

I am officially signed up for the triathamom now.  I've been consistent in my exercising and training for a few weeks now.  I bike, swim, and walk twice a week.  Today it's time to do all three.  Not sure how I'm going to get the swim in but I think it will work out.

John figured out yesterday where the leak in the roof has been coming from.  Yeah!  That has been such a burden to bear.  What a relief to have a forseeable conclusion to the whole ordeal.  As soon as he gets it fixed I can start praying for rain!

There is a ton of work to be done to prepare our property for some animal life.  We'd like to raise 2 - 5 steers this year for butchering in the fall.  And it's time to order a bunch of chickens so we can start selling eggs in the Spring.  People look at me like I'm setting myself up for failure when I talk about it, but no one else I know around here with too many eggs has actually attempted any of the basic marketing schemes I've come up with.  And it's all about marketing!  This is about my kids helping to sustain the family while learning how to run a business, how to work hard, and how to have a little self respect.  First eggs, then raw milk, then........gluten free bread?  Kefir?  Butter?  I think we should totally appeal to the paleo crowd.  I suppose we'll have to do farmers markets and advertising outside our area eventually, but for now my intention is to market the neighborhood. 

OK.  I'm feeling better now.  No more discouragement for me.  I have a bike ride to conquer!