Feeling Humbled

Being a good parent is such a challenge. It is so much easier to show my children love in ways that do not serve them: indulgence, leniency, giving to them and allowing them too much and essentially spoiling them. It is much harder to show them love in ways that truly serve them: Staying loving, but firm, following through on what I ask them to do, staying patient and calm when they revile me instead of reviling back and acting like I'm a little kid too. Reading to them in the middle of a busy day. Continuing to expose them to good influences in the face of resistance. Saying no to too much media, even though it frees up my time to do my own things. Acting like an adult is hard. I think my parents did a better job with me than I do with my own children. Either that, or else I have forgotten most of the bad stuff. I can hope for the latter explanation, but in the meantime I have plenty to repent of on a daily, even hourly basis. I think being a good parent must be the greatest challenge in the world, next to being a good spouse. Nothing but these two roles could require the hard work to build up my character in such a personal, intense, present and far-reaching way. I HAVE to focus on being a better person because I can only control me, not them. They need me to be in control of myself and improving myself and setting a positive example. If I fail in this duty of my life, no other success will matter. If I succeed at this duty nothing else will matter either. And the best part is that success or failure is entirely dependent on me. It is not the resulting behavior of my family that is the measure of my success. It is the strength of my character and the knowledge of life's efforts which only myself and God can honestly judge at my life's end.